We have slowly been working our way through some more Ethels. Lenny wants to complete the by the end of the year, so we really need to pull our finger out. Amongst this we have had some good times and some really tough, grief is one heck of an emotional rollercoaster. We have also attended our first SANDS support meeting at Chesterfield which was really helpful, all the group were lovely. Thankyou for your support, Nicola at Chesterfield Sands.
A windy walk to Stanage pole from Redmires, this was an evening walk with Lenny and the dogs, Stanage is a very special place to us and one day we hope to scatter Lenny’s ashes here. We talked and cried a lot. The walk was sad, we felt very alone.
Earlier this week we had a night in the van at a campsite in Edale. This was the first night with both dogs and Lenny. Mac was loving it, he slept on the bed! More like glamping for him. I arrived in a right crap mood, I felt so flat, down and angry, things felt very pointless. Mim being the amazing woman she is really helped me reframe lots of my angers and negative thoughts. We cooked some food on the BBQ and took a late evening walk up Grindslow Knoll (601m) one of the highest Ethels and watched the sunset over Kinder Scout. This is another time I feel so close to my boy, like his dad he loves the hills and mountains. On the way down Mim and I talked about expanding Lenny’s Legacy into a charity ……. watch this space! There was positivity in our voices, I love an adventure with the team! The next day was one of the hottest days of the year, so a swim in Ladybower was a must! (even though I got a telling off, it was worth it)
Yesterday we received the HSIB investigation report, which was like being hit by a bus, I think there will be a long Blog post on this … probably (certainly) written by Mim, so I will keep it brief. It made us go back to the 18th of December and relive all the tragic events in detail, which was incredibly hard. To make it worse, there were loads of factual inaccuracies, we felt unheard as parents and it feels like a complete waste of our time! I need to get Lenny’s Mum to sort this one, coz she’s BAD ASS!
After a very tough evening and morning, we had planned to go for a walk with the delightful Mrs Hall, (to be honest I wanted to stay in bed, order Mc Donalds and cry) we knew that going out with the main man Lenny was the right thing to do. We walked up Shatton Moor, had some good chat, moaned about the report and put the world to rights. The dogs had a dip in the river at the end, Mac loves a good soak. Thankyou for listening to us Jane you are a good un!!