Lenny's Legacy

If there is one piece of advice I could give to those supporting bereaved parents it would be this – say their baby’s name. We know that when Lenny died, people were unsure if it was ok to say his name, so we made it pretty clear to those around us it wasn’t just ok but that we wanted people to say his name. We now understand this to be very common amongst other bereaved parents. Parents spend hours and…

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October is baby loss awareness month, specifically 9th-15th October is baby loss awareness week. On the 15th October there is a global wave of light, at 7pm wherever you are in the world everyone is invited to light a candle for all the babies who have died. This is the first baby loss awareness month which has directly affected us after our son Lenny died at 40 weeks just after he was born due to a cord accident and losing…

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40 weeks and 2 days. The exact amount of time we had with you alive. Today marks 40+2 days since you were born and died in front of our eyes. I don’t know how I am still breathing. I don’t know how my heart carried on beating after yours stopped. It will forever be a mystery to me why I haven’t drowned in my own tears on my bathroom floor. After today we will cross the threshold into spending more…

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Dear Bobby,  This isn’t the letter I wanted to write. It just isn’t how it is supposed to be but sadly it is the way it has turned out.  You’re 3 years old! But you have been loved for much longer than 3 years – you are the first person I ever loved before I met you. I loved you as soon as I found out your mum was pregnant and I have loved you more every day since.  We…

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I can’t believe this is an international day that we now know about. I can’t believe you are a bereaved father – twice. I can’t believe how many bereaved fathers there are and yet only people in this shitty club know this day exists, the rest of the world can ignore it. A year ago we were anticipating Lenny’s arrival. A textbook healthy pregnancy entering the third trimester – we were on the home straight. We thought our biggest problem…

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We aren’t a gushy couple – never celebrated Valentine’s Day, once Roy bought me some mountain biking shoes for a wedding anniversary and once I bought him a picture. We value each others’ presence over presents. But we love each other so much. Our love of adventure, the outdoors and our Derbyshire roots drew us together – at the tender age of 20 when our biggest problem was running out of mixer and drinking spirits straight. It’s really easy to…

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Dear Lenny, 8 months since the best and worst day of our lives. 8 months since we arrived at the hospital, me having contractions full of joy and excitement. 8 months since we witnessed the shock and devastation on the faces of the wonderful medical team who tried so hard to save you. 8 months since you were born and then you died. There are lots of things about that day that I will never forget, like the look on…

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